Tips for Effective Communication Through Marriage

Couple talking by the window

According to a study from the University of Denver, communication problems were the third leading cause of divorce in the United States. Lack of communication or discussions that turn into arguments can lead to a breakdown in the relationship that can ultimately end it. Having healthy and effective communication in a marriage can help both partners feel loved and respected.

Here are some tips for effective communication in marriage.

Listen and Validate

Many communication problems arise from both partners not listening to each other. Take time to listen and validate your partner’s feelings. They are likely not trying to cause trouble and are just expressing their feelings. Not everything needs a response, either. Listening to understand their feelings can help you both make adjustments and be tuned with each other.

Use I Statements

Statements like “I feel _____ when _____” or “I feel that” can help you convey your emotions without attributing blame. These statements can help your partner validate your feelings and help them understand what you are feeling instead of feeling like they are being attacked for their actions.

Spend Quality Time

Taking time away from work, kids, or other responsibilities to have date nights can make you happier and feel more fulfilled in the relationship. Spending just one date a week together can improve your happiness and communication. Even a few minutes a day can show improvement in your relationship.

Show Appreciation

Showing appreciation, even for small moments or gestures, can go a long way in improving happiness and communication in your relationship. Say “thank you” as much as you can, even for small things your partner does daily.

Learn Your Partner’s Love Languages

Even one shows love and likes to be shown love in different ways. The five most common love languages are gifts, words of affirmation, physical touch, acts of service, and quality time. Taking the time to speak with your partner about how they would like to be shown love and how they want to exhibit love can help you communicate effectively in the relationship.

Be Aware of Your Body Language and Tone

Words aren’t the only form of communication. Take note of your body language and tone while communicating with your partner. Your tone and body language can offset your words if displaying a negative mood, such as annoyance in tone or turned away from your body. Open up your body and have a respectful, open tone while communicating to ensure your conversation is not disrupted.

Show Respect

No matter what your emotions are, showing your partner respect is essential. In conversations and all aspects of your relationship, respect will remind you of your love and keep you strong after arguments.


Not all marital problems have to be solved on your own. Marriage counseling is a highly-effective form of communication that you and your partner can share and grow. Counseling can hone your communication skills and give you space to be open and honest with each other.

Reach out for Help if You Need It

In some cases, communication can’t solve the problems in the marriage, and divorce may be the best and safest option for both parties, especially if there are other things to consider, such as the safety and well-being of children. Navigating the legal landscape of divorce, child support, and other things related to the dissolution of marriage alone can be scary, but you don’t have to go through it alone. The experienced family attorneys at The Virga Law Firm, P.A. can work with you to handle complex family law matters and get you through the tough times.

Contact us at (800) 822-5170 or visit us online to find a compassionate family law attorney near you!

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