As a divorce attorney, I have seen many of our clients deal with the draining process of divorce. The emotional strain put on a person during a divorce is often life-altering and many struggle with the idea that their marriage has become just another statistic. One of the unfortunate truths in today's world is that people don’t always stay together. While the idea of being with someone for a lifetime is a wonderful and romantic notion, there are times when it simply will not work out.
Should you find yourself going through a separation or a divorce, it is important to understand you are not alone. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 51% of all marriages end in divorce.
While these times can be extremely taxing, it is vital to recognize you do not have to go through it alone. It is far better for you seek assistance from a professional rather than attempt to muddle through it without help. Not only should you call on a divorce attorney, but in many cases a divorce counselor’s services may also be needed.
There are a number of reasons to go to a divorce counselor, which you can find in the sections below.
One of the first reactions people face when they undergo a separation or divorce is to go into a kind of "emotional shock." They shut down and refuse to accept the reality of the situation. If you decide to bottle up your emotions, it can often be much harder to move forward. However, a counselor is trained to help face your emotions honestly, freeing you to do the work necessary to become healthy and stable once more.
Take a Time Out
For some people, the way to avoid dealing with the pain of a divorce or a separation is to throw themselves into their job. Rather than confront their emotions, they bury themselves in work. A counselor can help you take a moment to reflect and provide a positive plan of action. This will give you the opportunity to take a "time out" in order to begin the healing process.
A relationship that did not work out should never be a source of embarrassment or shame. Too often, though, people don't want to admit that something wasn’t meant to be. They attempt to handle things on their own. Without the right tools, however, this can be a hard to accomplish.
When you enter counseling, you are showing your commitment to begin the process of healing. By reaching out for assistance, you are empowered to take the next steps towards emotional recovery.
Avoid Making Any Major Decisions
When someone goes through a separation or a divorce, it can be tempting to engage in a life-altering decision. Unfortunately, making a major decision is simply a tactic that the mind provides in order to distract us from dealing with what is really causing pain. Once the temporary euphoria wears off, you're back to dealing with the same emotions and feelings you were trying to avoid.
Counseling will be beneficial in discussing the motives behind the decisions you make. The counselor can often get you to see the reality of what you're avoiding and help you deal with the problem, rather than allow you to ignore the conflict through a series of distractions.
For many people, being in a relationship that is going through a separation or a divorce can cause more than emotional hardships. R. Morgan of Fort Worth, Texas suffered through a failed marriage and several failed relationships. Before he knew it, his health was seriously suffering.
"I couldn't eat or sleep," he explains. "Every time that I went to bed, I found myself thinking about everything that was going wrong with my life. When I sat down to eat, my stomach was in knots. My appetite was completely gone. Between not being able to sleep and not eating right, my health went downhill. It wasn't until a friend took me to counseling that I was finally able to get myself on an even keel."
A counselor is trained to take your emotions into account as well as any physical signs that you may be suffering. Emotions are constantly examined, as is your appearance. In some cases, if you need medical assistance to stay healthy, the counselor can refer you to other licensed professionals.
Although it seems that most people would want to avoid stress when going through a traumatic experience, people can sometimes seek needless strain in their life. There are physiological changes that take place when you are under stress. The heart races, adrenaline pumps through the bloodstream, and there is a feeling vitality. Unfortunately, these sentiments do not last, and when they depart, you usually feel exhausted and spent.
A counselor will be beneficial in teaching you how avoid stress when possible and how to emotionally handle situations you cannot control.
People who have gone through a relationship loss often find themselves stuck in one place—either emotionally or physically. However, a counselor can often show you exactly how to take the opportunity presented with the separation or the divorce and enact a positive change in your life. When you go through a loss, it is important to understand that the pain being felt will not be permanent. Counselors are there to show you that even the direst of circumstances can be handled when you are willing to accept help.
At The Virga Law Firm, our mission is to be there for you during the divorce process and to see you through the emotional strain. Our firm works in conjunction with many professionals in the area, from psychologists to counselors, who are trained to help people get their lives back on track. We welcome you to call our lawyer today to schedule your consultation.